These Tiny Clues Reveal Who You Are, According to a Woman I Know
We are defined by how we choose to react
Not starting with a ‘why’ question puzzled me.
“Why are you angry? It is not good for you” — I do not remember my mom ever saying that. Now, as a parent of young girls, it seemed the natural thing to do. So, I followed up with my mom.
When I posed this question to her on the phone, I could sense she was pleased. Instead of answering me, she asked a question, “well, what do you recall as my first words?”
I thought for a moment and shared, “Will you ever throw what you have in your hand, will you?” or “Will you ever shout like that, will you?” (loosely translated from Tamil, with a thundering echo on the second “will you.”)
She chuckled and added, “I am glad you did. My focus was on grilling in you an awareness of how you will likely react before you react. So, I repeated your act in words, after the incident. Anger is a difficult expression of emotion. Being aware that you are angry is more important than anger itself. The best way to do that is the awareness of your first actions when you are angry. That would help you in the long term. That was my thought. I am sure it paid rich dividends.”
