Being selfish is also self awareness.
Blogs with titles like this — usually preach. I wanted to reflect what’s in it for me and why it worked for me. May or may not work for you.
1. Remind myself to smile no matter what
What’s in it for me? I like to smile anyway. I find that it brings the best of the person across me and that positive energy is something I cherish. Aside from that — science gives me the dopamine boost about the smile. Researchers at the University of Kansas found that smiling reduces stress and lower heart rate in tense situations; while another study suggests that smiling leads to longevity.
2. Thank someone with a note
What’s in it for me? This is one thing that makes me look forward to the night. I like to write and combine that with a small thank you note with specifics to someone who boosted my day — adds to the thrill. Email is a wonderful, inexpensive tool.
After school — I like to ask my young daughters — when did you feel great today? It is one of the two questions I ask.
Consciously, being aware of my own moment in the day brings a touch of honesty. The thrill of waiting until the day end to do a simple, good deed has worked wonders on my mood. Nothing beats that.
If it was work related — I add their bosses in the cc. In my note, I often add about how I felt. Even in professional emails — it was well taken. I started to seek out the wonderful words beyond happy. My vocabulary bloomed.
3. Find something positive about someone
What’s in it for me? If there is one hobby that has worked for me- this is the one. For every positive word, you can find 2 negative emotive words in the English language. If it is true for words, think about people. We are drawn to infer differences and what bothers us. What if you flip it? A boss once did that to me during a performance review.
By nature, I am big on adding the word self between the words –“constant improvement”. So, I asked him a question — “Could you share with me some specific areas of improvement that can shape my personal growth?”
He leaned back in his chair, paused a moment and said — “That is a fair request, but first the low hanging fruit, are you aware of your strengths?” I said sure, and rattled off a few. He patiently listened and said- “those are some generic strengths, quite common among many folks. Do you know your strengths that naturally propel you?” I gave him a puzzled look.
In the next few minutes, he shared with me some of my nuanced strengths and backed it up with small detail examples where he noticed them. He felt that these strengths were natural for me but were rare, based on his observations of other people.
This skill of his, I have learned through the years. It elevates my mood. The chuckle I get when I share back — is a fun bonus.
4. Few minutes of memories with my kids
What’s in it for me? Beyond the obvious, if you read about what are the regrets of dying folks, they have one thing in common — nothing about work.
Yet, I am in my earning prime when my kids are young. How do I make peace? Peak moments creates memories. Physical time doesn’t. I park my car on the side streets and walk my kids to the school. One — I beat car traffic drop off line. Two — I hold my daughters hands, we walk in lock step and we talk sweet nothings. I cherish that memory —fully living such few moments.
5. 15 minutes only for myself
What’s in it for me is obvious. It is all about me. I enjoy things that not everybody can relate. I am sure you can relate to this idea. Constraint of time adds to the charm.
Waving good bye words..
A grandiose life is full of simple, down to earth magical moments hidden in plain sight. I preen the cover, be honest about being selfish and enjoy my moments of my life.
Thank you for your moments to read through my version of daily self.